I felt compelled to write this post not only because of a recent event I attended at Caracas' Peace Monument last Saturday, but also because of a conversation I had later that day with fellow Rotarians and not-so-peaceful moments in the lives of some of those around me.
In the last few days, I have been tired, cranky and frustrated at times. This was not the overall feeling of the days, but the tired/cranky/frustrated times seemed to overpower the other feelings. I was overwhelmed by the early starting times (7AM) of my classes, the amount of material, the expectations of me. Stress took over and I began to wonder if I was going to be successful this year.
Yesterday and today I had a little bit more down time and had time to reflect on the events of the last few weeks. As I mentioned, last Saturday I took a tour at the Peace Monument (Monumento a la Paz) in Colinas de Bello Monte (a part of Caracas). The monument was started by Dr. Farid Mattar in 1963 using rubble from the city of Caracas. Over the years, the monument has expanded considerably, and each part of the monument has a different meaning. However, each rock is placed “in the name of every Venezuelan child that will be born.”
It truly is a "peaceful" place with lush gardens and a spectacular view of El Avila (the mountain to the north of Caracas). Please take a look at the International Free Planet Foundation website for the full story and some beautiful pictures.
View from the entrance
One of the first gardens
The first path
Do you see a face or a tree?
It felt like walking through a jungle!
El Avila
Even the contemplative have to relieve themselves somewhere!
A lower level
Reflecting while sitting at a table made from rubble.
Rotaract President Andrea and I helping each other balance and "creating a peaceful bond."
El Avila"The moment has come for the voiceless to be heard! Out of agonizing and urgent need, millions of human beings are crying out for an end to wars and violence. We can make that happen by uniting all the forces of pacifism and active non-violence worldwide." (http://theworldmarch.org)
After the discussion, I went to Rotary Club Las Mercedes President Pedro's home, along with his wife Gina, and niece Andrea (President of Rotaract), all three of whom had attended the event. We had a scrumptious lunch and settled into the living room for an after-lunch chat with their daughter. I got more out of this conversation than I ever thought that I would.
At Pedro's home.I started to think about my own life, about my own inner peace. How many times did I fight with my brother, or argue with my parents? How many times should I have turned the other cheek in a situation, and didn't? Why is it that it is so easy for us to hurt the ones around us, yet so difficult to tell them that we love them? Why do we judge others without getting to know them first, using superficial characteristics as guidelines for judging their worth rather than the person that they are?
The conversation turned to my own family and disputes that have happened within it that have torn some of us apart. I got emotional thinking about relationships that I wish were better, that sometimes it seems will never improve. Gina mused that one of the most difficult tasks to carry out in the home is achieving peace. They encouraged me to not give up, to keep trying, and I was reminded of some steps forward in the last couple of years.
Since I have been home for very short periods of time since about 2003, it's always difficult to keep in touch with everyone, much less work on bettering relationships while abroad. However, I feel like things have improved lately, which I know has helped with my own inner peace. This summer one of my sisters moved closer to my house as a positive result of a negative situation. I was ecstatic that she moved closer and that I could see her and her two of her children (my niece and nephew) more often. They're getting to an age that you can really see what type of people they are turning out to be and I really don't want to miss out on that. I've had the chance to get to know them better and I think it would be awesome if my nephew could come to visit me here, or maybe on my next trip. I also had more time to spend with my brother, sister-in-law and his children, and feel like things get better every time I come home. I had the opportunity to spend a day each with both my sister and my brother's daughters, a "girl's day out" and hope that we continue to do so when I come home. Even though my parents were working and away from home for a good portion of summer, we still were able to spend time together. Because I'm gone so much, we try to make the most of the time that I'm there.
But what about those relationships that I haven't been able to improve? What do I do about them? Like Gina said, don't give up on them. World peace starts with our own inner peace and creating a peaceful atmosphere in our homes, strengthening our families.
Before I left for Venezuela, my dad asked me if I would come home for Christmas. I have never come home during a year abroad in the past (this is my fourth year abroad, and I've only been home for 2 Christmases since 2003) because of the cost of the plane ticket and wanting to experience the holidays in a new place. Even if I was in Ohio, I took advantage of the time off at Christmas to travel. I am young and independent, and realize that I won't be able to take off and travel at the drop of a hat once I "grow up." My parents have always supported me in this and they encourage me to keep learning and bettering myself.
However there comes a point when you realize that the cost of the plane ticket shouldn't be a concern. Getting to spend the holidays with your family when you spend so much time away from home doesn't have a price. I can't feel completely at peace knowing that it would bring my parents and my family happiness (and me, of course!) for me to spend Christmas with them, and having the possibility to go home and not go. Maybe this is what I need to do to better those tough relationships that I haven't gotten to yet. We all need to take a good look at ourselves once in awhile and ask these kinds of hard questions.
Some of my friends are going through a rough time right now. We're all growing up and the growing pains can sometimes be unbearable. It seems like inner peace is hard to come by these days. Moving back home is just what the doctor ordered for some, fastidious for others. Some feel that the path that they chose isn't the right one because the going got tough really quickly, while others still can't find their path. I wish I could be there to give each and every person who's having a tough time dealing a hug. I wish I could tell them that it's going to be alright, and know that they believe it. I've been where they are, not knowing where life is going to take me, and it can be miserable if you think about it the wrong way. I still find myself in that situation sometimes! If you think of it as a curse that you don't know what life is bringing, what you're going to eat for breakfast the next day, it most certainly will feel that way.
To my friends and anyone else feeling a little bit lost and lacking for inner peace, know that once you are at peace with yourself, everything else will fall into place and the effect on everyone and everything around you will be noticeable. Tomorrow, October 2nd, starts the three month World March for Peace and Nonviolence. I invite each one of you to do your part by finding your own inner peace and making peace with those around you. You never know what kinds of amazing things may come of it.
